It's a gorgeous Saturday afternoon here in Conway – rain coming down, a blanket of grey clouds hanging overhead, just warm enough to make it feel ... nasty. Because of this (and an empty closet), I've spent the better part of the day (and by that I mean the better part of everything after 1 p.m., when I rolled out of bed) getting laundry going and flipping through TV channels. There were a few uninteresting college basketball games on, some uninteresting news, and an In Living Color marathon on BET. I ended up sitting through a few episodes of that while enjoying lunch, fighting off my roommate's dog, and putting off laundry.

The last episode I caught had one of my all-time favorite In Living Color skits on it – The Dirty Dozens. Watching that got me to thinking about the goings-on in Magnolia on Thursday evening. There were several Lady Muleriders who really invoke visions of T-Dog Jenkins, the mama-joke king played by Jamie Foxx (for those who don't rememebr, The Dirty Dozens was like Jeopardy! only with mama insults. "Yo mama so stupid, it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes", "Yo mama so stank, she's like Shaq ... she don't fake the funk" and of course all the "Yo mama so fat..." jokes. Remember, this stuff aired in like 1992. It wasn't as tired, I was 10 years old, it was captivating).

T-Dog would do/say something insulting, then smirk, nod his head and throw his arms up to the crowd looking for some love. Well, that's your Lady Mulerider crew. Do something offensive (like, say, knock a player out cold), then laugh, smirk, jump around and get the crowd all crunk while the player is taking an involuntary nap right there by the scorer's table. I guess maybe I'm just looking at it with a negative slant. I should be positive and say that maybe they were just doing their part to revive Piggee – figuring if the crowd made enough noise it'd help her come to.

Anyway, it was a nice T-Dog Jenkins moment. I'm sure their parents are proud. And in a note completely unrelated to anybody that had anything to do with the screen on Piggee, the answer to the final dis on the show was "Yo mama butt so big, it look like two pigs fighting over Milk Duds."

And a few of the SAU fans were a lot like Katie Cottrell, the super-white, super-dorky soccer mom just totally out of touch with anything hip. Her disses are typically along the lines of "Your mother is so stupid, she recently scored below average on her standardized test." Well, that was the SAU heckling. "Hey uhh... you suck!! You are so bad, you're losing!" and the nonstop references to LeMar Phillips as what I believed to be "Wal-Mart", which is clever, witty, hilarious, and absolutely makes no sense.

As for the men's game, I'm not sure I've ever seen a college basketball team score just 12 points in one half, and I know for certain I never want to see it happen again. It's bad enough by itself, but when you drove to Magnolia and you still have to drive home from there, you don't need to be sleepy whatsoever. Sitting through a 12-point half (37 combined for the two teams) is not what you need unless you want to stop for rest in Prescott, the City of Progress.

Late in the second half, UCA assistant SID Cody Usher, Kai and myself were digging through media guides trying to figure out the worst loss of the Rand Chappell era at UCA (66-46 to Christian Brothers in Chappell's first year), the lowest point total (same game), and the last time UCA was held below 40 (Jan. 30, 1988 when the Bears lost 54-34 to Drury). UCA was down 17, had 30-something points, and there wasn't much time left.

Then, they turned on a press that would've had Nolan Richardson smiling and just about pulled off the impossible. By game's end it was 50-47 and UCA had a chance to tie at the end. I don't have official stats in front of me, but they probably scored more in the final two minutes than they did in the entire first half.

I guess you can't do it all the time, but maybe the Bears ought to roll out that defense a little more frequently. Teams with better guards than SAU's might destroy it, but it's worth a shot to try to create some offense on nights when you can't get a bucket otherwise. Looked like the guys thoroughly enjoyed it and seemed to thrive.

I wouldn't expect Monday night's game to be quite so low-scoring, even though CBU plays a more grind-it-out style. Their defensive style is something the Bears are a little better equipped to handle, so I wouldn't count on another 12-point half.

15, maybe. But not 12.