1. Fans sleeping their way through games but coming alive for a halftime shooting contest for $107.

2. A reception taking place up on the terrace in the Farris Center DURING A GAME. Tonight, the last home game of the year, it's Who's Who night, and since halftime recognition simply isn't enough, somebody thought it'd be a great idea to just have a big to-do up on the balcony for the first hour of the Sugar Bears game.

This is like recognizing the women's basketball team by letting them play a game along the side of the Student Center ballroom while Karl Rove is up front giving a speech.

"Hey, we'd like everybody to come out to the Farris Center tonight and cheer on the Sug... wait, no, we'd like you to come out and mingle on the terrace/batting tunnel."

I like basketball games. I like events honoring people for major accomplishments. I don't like combining the two. A halftime ceremony is one thing. Taking away from the game is another.

Maybe next year during a football game we can honor all the summer graduates behind an end zone or on the visitor's sideline during the first half. Just march them out there and call off all their names in lieu of the standard public address work.

While just about every other school is trying to do things to enhance the game atmosphere, UCA is doing just the opposite.

"Hey, let's see how many other things we can get going at once to actually DISTRACT the fans from the game! That's cutting-edge. Who else has got that? Maybe we can get a DJ and a disco ball up there on the terrace and have some sort of dance during the games! Or we could set up some seats and a projector, dim the lights a little, and show a movie! Or we should have College Square night every week and set up a shuffleboard tournament, yeah! Or maybe to get our tennis program more recognition, we could set up a match right there on the terrace! It might even be a good idea to take the seating out of the other end, put in another terrace, and have two events going at once for maximum distraction!"