Hoffa found?

Well, it seems the FBI has yet another great, white-hot tip as to the whereabouts of the infamous, elusive Jimmy Hoffa. Outstanding.

It's been a great national mystery for longer than I've been alive and I, like most everybody else, would like to have the solution to the puzzle. But as far as I can tell, and – granted, that's not very far – it's more novelty than anything at this point.

I watch about 14 hours of Forensic Files on CourtTV every week, so I understand the far-reaching possibilities that exist when you actually find a body. First and foremost, you get confirmation there is indeed a body – closes that book. Secondly, even though the body has been decaying for 31 years, somebody armed with a microscope, a centrifuge, and some India ink will figure something out.

But what does the FBI hope to gain by finding the body, other than some fatcat getting to pound his chest and say "I found Hoffa!"? Is there going to be an arrest made? Do they hope to find some secrets with the body? Will something they unearth lead them to something else? How far does this go? Is it just a matter of finding a body for the sake of finding a body ... or is something else at play here?

The AP article reads like the FBI has made a habit of ransacking everything they come into contact with in hopes of finding some teeth. Ripping up pools, tearing down barns, tilling up some earth, tearing up floors, etc. I guess there's not a lot you can do, but I'd probably be good and riled up if they came in and razed my barns and mulched up my 40-acre yard. Hopefully whoever gets their stuff trashed is getting proper restitution or, at the very least, having some covert op done for them. Need somebody offed? We'll handle it no problem, just let us come in, dismantle your house, park a dozen backhoes in your yard and dig through the family cemetary. We need those teeth.

I'm sure there's some really good reason to go on with this hunt for another 40, 50 years if need be ... I just need somebody to tell it to me. I'm stupid and writing at 5:30 a.m. Clue me in, please. Whatever the case may be, I just hope this latest tip is the winner and they find the body ... or what's left. I can't imagine 30+ years in the earth is good for someone's remains.

But this would be a huge story, and coming so soon on the heels of the discovery of Deepthroat, it would make for a banner year for tying up loose ends. Then, all involved agencies could focus their efforts on the next most pressing national issue ... which baseball players are juicing.