One day last week, I'm standing in my garage engaged in a pretty intense game of darts when – all of a sudden – the background noise of the TV chatter became crystal clear when I heard "the Yankees should trade Alex Rodriguez". I hadn't been keeping up too well, but evidently the best player in baseball suddenly wasn't good enough and the home fans had turned on him. And now, the talking heads were saying it was time for him to go.

I was so stunned, I flipped my dart about four feet from the target into a futon and was booed by some old lady walking her dog.

Evidently, unbeknownst to me, A-Rod has become Chaz Knoblauch and can't hit Andy Phillips with a throw or bat if his life depended on it. The pressure cooker that is Yankees baseball has made him wither into an ineffective shadow of him former self who is now only the second best player in the game.

I mean, really, don't you think we're going off the deep end here just a bit? Can't a guy just hit a slump anymore? Evidently not, not in New York, not with ESPN and its 4,736 analysts weighing in ... wait, make that 4,735 (godspeed, Harold).

So since they're going to stoke the fire and make sure they keep the microscope's objective lens pressed firmly against the stage, let's just assume that it drives A-Rod into full-out temporary insanity and he's no longer able to perform whatsoever as a Yankee and must be traded.

One of the Baseball Tonight guys, and I believe it was John Kruk, raised the question "Who is going to play third and bat fourth for the Yankees? They need pitching." As far as I see, a guy with A-Rod's credentials (and salary) would command multiple players. So why not get crazy and get a third baseman and some pitching all at the same time?

Now, the Chicago White Sox are rumored to be pursuing Alfonso Soriano hard. The Cardinals are reportedly in discussions with the Phillies to bring Bobby Abreu on board. Those are a couple of really quality players – guys who can give your franchise a face, guys you can build a team around.

There's a certain team that competes with both the Cardinals and the White Sox that could use something like that. This certain team also has movable parts. They also may or may not have a true desire to win – which throws a giant wrench into the whole plan.

The Chicago Cubs and A-Rod can relate. Each has been booed by the home fans. Each has made a few errors. Each has scored about 70 runs this season. Seems like a perfect fit. The Cubs need somebody they can truly build the franchise around. Derrek Lee is good, but I'm not sure if he's in that upper echelon. The Cubs also need a face of the franchise. You had Mark Grace and Ryne Sandberg for awhile, the Sammy Sosa era, and now you have the Paper Sack. A very sad sack.

So why not give the Yankees what they need and, at the same time, pick up one of if not the greatest player in the game and of this era? And it's on the (relatively) cheap, since the Rangers are picking up $10 million of his salary.

The Cubs have a good third baseman in Aramis Ramirez who is actually two years younger and statistically comparable to Rodriguez at the plate this year. The Cubs also have an aging, veteran pitcher who still has something left in the tank and could win on a good team in Greg Maddux, and a couple of young guys that people still think might have some value in Kerry Wood in Mark Prior.

There's some mystique to Yankee Stadium where guys whose careers seem on the decline go over there and have a rebirth. This would be perfect for Wood and maybe to a slightly lesser extent Prior. Those guys have tremendous talent, but they also have tremendous injury. They're doing the Cubs no good whatsoever. But the Yankees ... they'd be good for the Yankees. The Yankees can also afford to take that risk.

Now, I wouldn't want to give up all three of those pitchers plus Ramirez, but I would throw in whichever two the Yankees wanted. It pretty much decimates the Cubs staff, but hey ... Dusty's been doing that for a couple years anyway.

Stay with Zambrano, Maddux (hope the Yanks take Wood/Prior), Sean Marshall and start filling in holes. If Maddux goes and you're left with Wood he's probably gone at season's end, so then you start calling up young guys and trying to sign some veterans. At least you have your ace, and Marshall is seasoned.

And it leaves you with Alex Rodriguez, Derrek Lee, Juan Pierre, Michael Barrett, and Jacque Jones as your positional nucleus. You can win with that.

Which is why it won't happen.