There are people in this world who detest the presence of the present, want no part of the future and are resistant to any sort of change. These people will fight tooth and nail against anything outside of what they have accepted as their norm, and will fend off and denounce fancy advancements such as the Internet, PDAs, the forward pass and wet counties.

These same people go out of their way to live their lives as their grandparents did, because that's how it should be. They rationalize everything so that they make themselves feel superior for going about things the 'right' way. LCD or plasma? No thank you. The CRT is the way to go. All this new-fangled flatness is a fad and it's those dadgum Japanese making all that. Give me a good ol' American Zenith console.

You know the people I'm talking about, right? Everybody knows at least one. The guy who knows in his mind that the vinyl album sounds like crap but will swear up and down it trumps the CD. The guy who favors every athlete who played 20 years ago over any of today's stars because the old guy is "a legend".

I am not that guy. As a matter of fact, I typically want to bash that guy in the face with an iMac and strangle him out with some CAT5 cable.

But, not all change and advancement is good. There are a few instances in which I long for a bygone era... gas prices, the Chicago Cubs announce team, Arkansas Razorback basketball, rap music, the Shop at Home network, Mary Tyler Moore – these are things that have not changed and/or advanced with any sense of improvement. Like a fine wine they are not.

But the decline of one thing that, on a daily basis, bothers me more than anything else is the manner in which sports journalism has evolved through the years. I've ranted about this before and might just turn it into a weekly segment where I pick out 2093834908239023 things that week that bothered me ... but we'll see. For now, I'll stick with a few of the most pressing issues in sports today:

1. Ben Wallace's headband
2. The New York Giants' collective vagina
3. Mike Vick's middle finger
15. North Carolina defeating Ohio State

Somewhere along the way, the fashion trends of the NBA and the media-induced/sensationalized/oversaturated squabbling between Michael Strahan, Plaxico Burress and a punter to be named later have usurped actual sporting events as the big "news".

I flip off, on average, about 18 people a day. Most of this is because people suck at driving, part of it is because people suck at reading bright bulbs flashing DO NOT WALK at them, and part of it is simply because I am intrigued by the reactions that raising a middle finger can get.

(Quick tangent here ... I would like to go back in history and see the first instance of a conscious flip-off. Who decided that the raising of the middle finger would be an indication of animosity? And how did the other guy know how to interpret it? Did the two get together and Guy A say to Guy B "Look pal, I don't like you or the fact you stole my mead ... therefore I am going to raise this finger at you, and you should probably get upset about it. Then go tell your friends."? Why the middle finger? What if somebody had chosen the pinky? And instead of just holding it up, how about wiggling it around? Go get in front of a mirror right now, make the most menacing face you can, and defiantly raise your pinky and wiggle it left to right. Ridiculous, right? Well ... had somebody done things different hundreds of years ago, that'd be the standard practice. Weird how things work out.)

It's a good, quick, harmless way to release your anger. It's much better than a punch, kick, spit, or urination. Just flip the finger, maybe shout something, let the other party return the favor and go about your way. No big deal, right? Well, not for me. For Mike Vick, who probably had good reason for doing what he did, it became a giant ordeal. The anonymous guy in the stands who may have said mean things about Mama Vick or, with the help of some buddies, waved Marcus Vick's rap sheet around, incites Vick and nobody knows who he is or what he did or anything of the sort. Vick calmly reacts with some middle fingers and is villified. And it's a national story. Vick is forced to go around apologizing like he's Michael Richards (obviously he's not ... and Richards is thankful for that).

Why is that a giant issue? And why is a headband an issue in Chicago? I wish this headband ordeal was taking place with Allen Iverson.

"But it-it's easy to talk about it, it's easy to sum it up when you just talk about headbands. We sitting here and I'm supposed to be the franchise player, and we're in here talking about headbands. I mean listen, we're talking about headbands. Not a game, not a game, not a game, not even practice. We're talking about headbands. Not a game, not the game that I go out there and die for, and play every game like it's my last. Not the game. We're talking about headbands, man. I mean, how silly is that? We're talking about headbands. I know I'm not supposed to wear one. I know I'm supposed to lead by example . . . I know that, and I'm not shoving it aside you know like it don't mean anything I know it's important. . . I do. . . I honestly do. But we're talking about headbands, man. What are we talking about? Headbands? We're talking about headbands, man . . . We're talking about headbands. We're talking about headbands. We ain't talking about the game, we're talking about a damn headband, man. When you come to the arena, and you see me play, you see me play don't you? . . . you see me give everything I got, right? But we're talking about headbands right now. We're talking about headba- Man look I hear you, it's funny to me too, and I mean it's strange to me too. But we are talking about some thread and elastic woven together into this thing I slide onto my forehead. We're not even talking about the game, the actual game, when it matters. We're not even talking about practice. . . How the hell can I make my team better by not wearing a headband?"

For one, Scott Skiles is an idiot for having such trifling rules. For another, the owners are stupid for allowing their overpriced investment to be even less effective and more discontent because some blowhard coach with a severe case of Little-Man Syndrome doesn't like headbands. Ownership doesn't need to undermine its coach any more than it has to, but if I'm sitting there throwing inordinate amounts of cheddar at a player, I want the most out of my investment. And it matters not to me if he wears a headband, a fedora, a kilt or a gag ball. Why not go ahead and institute a rule against facial hair, too. I'm a big fan of those. I wish just once somebody would've told Michael Jordan they had a no-baldness policy and tried to force him to grow out his hair.

But just as ridiculous as Skiles' policies is the amount of coverage this has gotten. Headband experts like LeBron James and Bjorn Borg have been called on to weigh in on this hot topic. I haven't watched, but I think it's safe to assume Woody Paige and Skip Bayless have come to blows over this on Cold Pizza.

And if Skiles vs. Headbands isn't enough to whet your adolescent drama appetite, here come the New York Giants. Strahan said this, Plaxico said that, some reporter said this and that and had to show Strahan her face. Compelling stuff, I tell you. Soon we'll find out that Eli saw Jeremy Shockey with a new watch and went and got one with one more carat of diamonds just to show who's boss. And while we're at it, let's see if Tiki Barber is retiring so he can spend time with his unborn child – being carried by Tom Coughlin's wife.

Honestly, who cares?

While these and other earth-shattering events are debated ad-nauseum, there will be some (but very little) mention of actual sporting event. No. 6 North Carolina and No. 1 Ohio State went at it in a pretty entertaining game last night, and the Tar Heels were able to put away the Greg Oden-less Buckeyes in a matchup of two heavyweights who will have a pretty decent chance of playing in April. I was impressed with how they got up and down the floor, for the most part made good decisions, displayed some freakish athleticism, and in general looked every bit the part of championship college basketball teams. And one team was without its supposed best player.

But hey, it's just a game. Just two of the sport's brightest prospects (Tyler Hansbrough and Oden) in the same place at the same time – though with only one on the court. Just a storied program like UNC taking on, and defeating, the nation's top-ranked team. There was a time when beating a No. 1 team was something special, even if it was in November. Not as big as beating No. 1 in March, or beating No. 1 in football, but when a top-ranked team goes down it should probably be a halfway big deal.

I don't think it should be the featured story for a week, especially with college football conference championships coming up this weekend, but it probably deserves more analysis and commentary than a headband.

Thanks, ESPN.