I'm not real good at math – had to get some real-time tutoring on tests just to get a 'C' in college algebra, pulled off an 'F' or two in Algebra II in high school, and was tickled pink to open up my ACT test results way back in the day and see a 19 there on the Math portion. That kept me out of remedial classes, and that made me happy. Of course that happiness subsided when I realized it killed my overall score and kept me from getting one of those super-fancy scholarships. Granted, I would've lost the super-fancy scholarship just as quickly as I lost the sorta-fancy one so it really didn't matter.

But when it comes to addition, subtraction and some simple multiplication and division – I can hang with the mediocre of 'em. Having been a sports junkie since I was old enough to pee, I've mastered the art of multiplying by 7 and 3, dividing by 48, 60, 9 and 1, adding 17, and subtracting 1908.

I've yet to get a grip on the complexities of the NCAA quarterback rating, the NFL quarterback rating (and the differences that lie within), the BCS, or a single piece of drivel that Rob Neyer spits out.

That being said – I think I can figure out some UCA football stats.

With just one game left in the season, figured I'd take this opportunity to highlight some of the statistical superlatives a few individuals have achieved and can look forward to achieving in the years to come.

Career Pass Attempts
Nathan Brown threw 36 passes Saturday, giving him 484 for his career. That moves him past Kevin Nawracaj (Norwegian for "Federline") for 7th in school history. It gives Brown 211 for the season, playing in only 7 games. That leaves him averaging just about 30. If he were to throw exactly his average Saturday against Georgia Southern, that would put him at 516. It will be a little while before he catches the next man on the list, as Bobby Tiner sits 6th with 634 attempts.

Last year he threw 273 passes – though he had 14 games in which to do so, he didn't play full-time all season. Chris Reil also played in all 14 games and threw 160 passes. So between a year of splitting time and a year of missing a substantial chunk of the schedule with injury, we haven't gotten a true read of how many passes to expect Nathan throw in a full, healthy season.

So let's just say he never has a full, healthy season. If he goes for 241 this year and had 273 last year, that's an average of 257. So say he averages 257 for the following two years, and that adds 504 to his total. That would shatter the record.

Sitting at 484, he needs just 323 to break Randy Huffstickler's record of 806. That could potentially happen next season, but I'd look for it to go down early in his senior year.

7. Nathan Brown - 484
6. Bobby Tiner - 634
5. Andy Rogers - 665
4. Chris Freeman - 713
3. Ken Collums - 736
2. Zak Clark - 789 (in two seasons, mind you)
1. Randy Huffstickler - 806

Career Pass Completions
Brown passed Tiner Saturday to move into 6th on the all-time list. He currently has 328, and needs only complete 55 against Georgia Southern to pass Andy Rogers. He's completed 139 passes so far this season, about 20 a game. If he gets his standard 20 against GSU, then he's up around 160 for the year and 348 for his career. Early next season he should pass Rogers (382), Chris Freeman (386) and Ken Collums (388) – probably all in one game. After that, his next target is Huffstickler at 445 – just 117 from where he currently sits and 97 from where he might be at season's end. That should be easily attainable.

Right now he's 164 from overtaking Zak. So he'll need somewhere around 135-145 next season to get that accomplished. If he plays a full 11 games and relinquishes duty only in trash time, he should be able to get that. Regardless, barring freak injury or freakier academic ineligibility, he should sew this one up before all is said and done.

Career Pass Yards
With his 254 yards Saturday, Brown is just shy of the 4,000-yard mark for his career – sitting at 3,989, good for 8th place. He needs just 199 yards to eclipse Nawracaj for 7th, and if he can somehow muster 315 against Ga. Southern, he'll surpass Tiner.

He's averaging 225 per game, so let's say he finishes the year with an average performance and winds the year up at 4,214. That would leave him 1,715 yards shy of tying Zak Clark for second place. After that, it's another 1,441 to catch Huffstickler. In his junior and senior years, Brown would need to accumulate around 3,147 yards to get the record. That's an average of just less than 1,600 per season – which seems reasonable. Then again, he's losing Aaron Fairooz and nearly a literal ton of offensive linemen. He might also be losing Henderson State, Southern Arkansas, Augustana and South Dakota.

Of course, playing from behind means more throwing.

One way or the other, he's still got a good shot to take that record with him when he rides off into the sunset – provided he keeps his thumb out of helmets.

8. Nathan Brown - 3,989
7. Kevin Nawracaj - 4,187
6. Bobby Tiner - 4,304
5. Andy Rogers - 4,610
4. Chris Freeman - 5,091
3. Ken Collums - 5,578
2. Zak Clark - 5,919 (Two years!)
1. Randy Huffstickler - 7,360

Career Passing Touchdowns
Brown's three TD tosses Saturday gives him 40 for his career, vaulting him past Collums (39) for third in school history. He needs just nine more to pass Clark, and 22 to get Huffstickler. Both of these should be within reach, and Huffstickler should be taken down sometime late next season.

3. Brown - 40
2. Clark - 48
1. Huffstickler - 61

Career Receiving Yards
Aaron Fairooz already has this one, and just keeps extending his lead. With his 45 yards Saturday he moves to 2,754 – 105 yards ahead of No. 2 Ron Mallett and 143 yards ahead of Michael "Coach" Norvell. I don't believe either of those guys are catching him.

As a matter of fact, I'm not sure anybody is catching him for a long, long time. Aaron's got one more game and just because I'm getting lazy already let's say he puts up 75 yards (right around his average for the season) – that gets him to 2,829. Because I want to divide by 4, we're going to call it 2,828. That means somebody is going to need to step in and average four consecutive years of 707 yards. Only four receivers have averaged four years of 600+ yards. Only one other has averaged four years of 500+ yards. Obviously this is no small task.

Even if a guy were to go nuts and have back-to-back 1,000-yard seasons his jr. and sr. seasons, he's going to need 800 yards somewhere else. That seems easy, right? 400 a year? Well, you have to play a freshman season and it's hard to rack up yards as a freshman. David Robinson, a freshman on this year's team, has 355 yards for the season. We'll give him another 45 for Saturday and call it an even 400 for the year.

If he sticks around for three more years, he's still going to need more than 2,400 yards over three years to catch Aaron. That's an average of more than 800 yards per year. Not completely out of the question, but by no means a gimme. If anybody currently on the roster has a chance, it's Robinson. He'll be the deep threat for as long as he's here – but there are a ton of variables at play. I do think he has a much greater chance at surpassing Draylon Galloway (2,053) to at least crack the Top 5. If he can scrounge up another 1,200 or so before he checks out, he's in the Top 10.

Career Pass Receptions
Norvell has the record with 213, having passed Draylon Galloway's old record of 173 last season. Fairooz entered this year with an outside shot of taking it right away from Norvell, needing 83 – which would be a single-season record (76 - Fairooz, '05). He's not going to get it, unless he comes up with one of the biggest games in history this Saturday. Sitting at 185, he needs a cool 29 to surpass Norvell. Ain't happening. I am of the opinion Norvell, a graduate assistant on this year's team, convinced/coerced/blackmailed the offensive staff to keep Fairooz's receptions down.

This is another record that may stand for a long time. With Robinson's 21 catches thus far this season, he's only going to need 45 or so catches next year to go with a couple 75-catch, 1000-yard seasons his junior and senior years to start terrorizing the record books.

Career Pass Reception TDs
Here's a category where somebody like Robinson or fellow freshman Preston Echols may have a shot at the career Top 5 list. Each has two this season, and without Fairooz around next year should have a chance at a few more.

Aaron came into the season needing 11 to break the record – but has only six. Barring a Playstation day for he and Nathan on Saturday, he's going to fall a bit short of Ronnie Mallett.

1. Mallett - 30
2. Fairooz - 26
3. Landon Trusty - 20
4. John Cameron - 19
5. Tyree Davis, Clifton Ealy - 16

Career Total Offense Yards
With his 246 total yards Saturday, Nathan moves to 8th on the career list with 4,055. Next on the hit list is the state's all-time leading collegiate rusher – Hosea Knowlton, who ran for 4,549 yards and edit: There used to be a line here about how Knowlton's career rushing total was the exact same as his total yards total, which I thought was weird. I am stupid and got "Total Offense Yards" confused with "Total All-Purpose Yards". In "Total Offense", running backs don't get credit for pass receptions, as those yards are credited to only QBs. All-Purpose Yardage is where RBs can rack up, and where QBs get shafted on their yards. The lesson here ... I hate stats.

Huffstickler owns this record with a grand total of 6,818 yards. Impressive at first glance, but not so much when you remember he had 7,360 passing yards. So, somewhere along the way he managed to lose 542 yards on the ground. I don't think Jared Lorenzen came close to that, and he was like having Ronnie Lee under center.

8. Nathan Brown - 4,055
7. Hosea Knowlton - 4,549
6. Andy Rogers - 4,799
5. Chris Freeman - 5,043
4. Zak Clark - 5,964
3. Bobby Tiner - 6,110
2. Ken Collums - 6,233
1. Randy Huffstickler - 7,360

Of the seven QBs on that list, The Incredible Huff is the only one who played in concrete cleats. Chris Freeman lost 48 yards, which isn't great but it's also not 524.

As it stands, the career rushing totals for those QBs goes something like this:

1. Tiner - 1,806
2. Collums - 655
3. Rogers - 189
4. Brown - 66
5. Clark - 45

Bobby Tiner was Matt Jones before Matt Jones' parents were born (to put into perspective for UCA fans – that was way back in Bill Johnson's 27th year of calling UCA football).

Anyhow, Nathan needs around 2,800 yards to surpass Huffstickler. I doubt it happens next year, but I don't see any reason he can't grab it pretty early in the senior campaign.

Career Total Points Scored
Kentrel Rogers is just ridiculous. He has 322 points – exactly 50 more than No. 2 Phil Caldwell. The only guys knocking on the Top 10 door currently on the team are Fairooz (170) and James Paul (136). Mallett currently sits 10th at 184. Fairooz would need two TDs and a two-point conversion to tie. Of course he could always just go get three TDs and vault into 8th place.

Paul has 56 points so far this season, and a repeat performance next year would get him in there. He could potentially pass Shaun Mitchell for 7th at 198, or even Darrell Hamilton at 207 if he really has a banner year.

Just to put Kentrel's career into perspective ... Fairooz has been one of if not the best receiver in school history and James Paul has been a pretty decent kicker (if only part time, part of the time), and both have a chance to finish up in the Top 10. But right now, at the end of one guy's senior year and one guy's junior year, combined they are still 16 points shy of equaling Rogers' total.

Career Touchdowns Scored
How about that Bobby Tiner, huh? In addition to throwing for 32 TDs in his career, he ran it in another 30 times. What a stud. It may not be any better than Kentrel's 53 rushing TDs, though. And let's give a hand to Hosea Knowlton, who rang up a whopping 37 TDs in only 944 carries. By comparison, Kentrel got his 53 in 480 rushes.

Anyhow, Fairooz has 28 TDs, good for 9th. One more will tie him for 8th with Nathaniel "Annual Cocker Spaniel Granule Manual" Daniel. Two more will catch him up with Mallett and Tiner. Three would tie him with Vaughn Edwards,four with Shaun Mitchell at 4th.

Ross Brown has 15, and needs eight to tie Henry Hawk for 10th.

Career PATs Made
James Paul, with his four successful (and one unsuccessful) PAT attempts Saturday, has 91 for his career. Justin Smith holds the all-time mark at 138, which leaves James 47 shy. I'm not so sure that's possible. Second place, however, should be well within reach. Darrell Hamilton has 108, and after this weekend's game James shouldn't need any more than 15 to catch Hamilton.

Jay Salter needs only 137 to tie Smith.

Career Field Goals Made
Curtis Burrow was to Field Goals what Kentrel Rogers was to Touchdowns. In his career, Burrow nailed a school-record 43. Next, you ask? Hamilton, with 33. After Smith's 31, it takes another sharp decline down to Kevin Leach's 19 and 18 by both Steve Strange and Morgan.

Paul has 15, good for 8th. If the Bears consistently sputter Saturday, he might could move into a tie or even pass Leach before the season ends. I don't see that happening, though. However, there's no reason he shouldn't catch Leach next season. Catching anybody else might be out of the question, though.

Career Total Tackles
William Franklin - 438
Bobby J. McDaniels - 416
Harold Lewis & The News - 411

After that, people just stopped tackling.

4. Rick Matheny - 312
5. Joe Hogan - 311
6. David Riley - 297
7. Chris Smith - 295
8. Quentin Maxfield - 285

Maxfield broke into the Top 10 this year and passed his old buddy Cory Cangelosi for 8th a couple weeks ago. Needing 13 to catch Smith entering the Augustana game, Maxfield hurt his chances by only getting three tackles, needing to ring up 10 at Ga. Southern to move up. Of course, Maxfield holds the school record with 21 tackles in a single game (Valdosta State, 9/25/04 – UCA's last regular-season home loss) so it's not unthinkable. A solid 13-tackle performance would get him 6th.

On the outside looking in you've got senior safeties Jasper Johnson (218) and Leroy Hamilton (190).

Consecutive Games with Reception
1. Aaron Fairooz - 35
2. Jelani Lewis - 23
3. Anthony Lampkin, Doug Mitchell, Steve Wood - 22

Okay this one is just about as ridiculous as Kentrel's TDs and Burrow's FGs. Nobody is going to sniff this one. That's basically an entire career, getting a catch every game. If he gets one Saturday, that's 36 straight games. You better get one out of your system early your freshman year then plan on being a ballhawk the rest of your career.

Career Rushing Yards
Despite playing behind four 1,000-yard rushers in his career (Willie Hopson, Bernard Scott, Kentrel Rogers, Kentrel Rogers), Ross Brown has one more game this season and all of 2007 to come up with 950 yards and put himself in UCA's career Top 10. Obviously not an easy task with a predominately Div. I schedule next year and splitting carries with Brent Grimes, but not out of the question either. For a guy who waited so long for his turn, it'd be a nice little reward to get up there.

Career Yards from Sacks
In his career, Bart Reynolds recorded 20 sacks that resulted in a UCA-record 148 lost yards. Mike Coffman had 30 career sacks, but is not listed in the Top 5 for yardage. Mike Lovelady is second with 23 career sacks, and was No. 5 with 104 yards – until Jacob Ford came along.

Ford, who would likely be all over the record book had he played a full four years at UCA instead of just two, has made his presence felt in a short period of time. With one game left, he has 15 career sacks for 115 yards lost – good for third in school history behind Bart Reynolds (148) and Chris Pope (122). That duo played together in 1993, 94 and 95. The team's record during that span? 21-10-1.

And there you have it. I think I am retiring from math.